Celebrating my Grandma....

Okay.. so tomorrow is my birthday. yeah yeah yeah... just another ordinary day. I feel ordinary. I don't feel special. I'll get up early tomorrow, do my normal routine.. and the day will be done with no surprises.. no great thing.. nothing. It's just another day. I've had a hard time with birthdays for a while now. 11 years ago tomorrow, my birthday changed a bit for me. My grandma Nielson passed away on my 20th birthday... and ever since then, I've had a hard time celebrating mine. But several months ago, my mother reminded me that I shouldn't dwell on her death... or how much I miss her, cause I do miss her something terrible. But that I should remember her for all the laughter and smiles and love that she gave me and my family. She was an incredible mother and grandmother. I know have 3 kids and I struggle. I can't even imagine her with 12 kids and the struggles that she went through. She always said, lifes problems could be solved with a cup of tea and some cookies or crackers. I got my love of tea from her and my father, passed down over the generations. My father's birthday is in a couple of days... 67 years ago.. she was pregnant with him... he was number 10 of the bunch. I can't imagine. The trust she had in the Lord. Thank you Grandma for loving me and for loving all of us. for teaching us sooo many lessions in life. I miss you so much. I will always miss you. I will try to remember those good days. and celebrate your life better. Thnking of you always.. I can't wait to see you in heaven. Love you always and forever, Cari.